Choices

We as people, as a human race, tend to do things that we know could potentially hurt us. We jump out of airplanes, we scale rock walls, and I know everyone reading this has thought at least once about jumping off the Stratosphere in Vegas. That’s how we are. The pull of the thrill is almost too much to resist.

Almost.

But what about people? If we choose to do things that we know will hurt, doesn’t it stand to reason that we also choose people that will hurt as well? Sometimes we really just pick the exact variety of person that we DO NOT need in our lives. We’re so volatile; we fall in love so easily. And we often love so hard that we overlook things that should reach out and grab our attention. Things that are screaming, “THIS ONE ISN’T FOR YOU.”

Why do we do that? Maybe there’s something specific that you love about the person. Maybe you love their sense of humor so much that you don’t realize when all the jokes become about you. Or maybe you’ve known them for too long, and they changed so subtly that you didn’t even realize it until that one night, when you’re crying for no reason, and it suddenly dawns on you how unhappy you are.

I’m talking to you, and you know who you are, love.

After that first heartbreaking realization, who do you go to? What do you do? How do you fix it? You love him, I know. Even if you don’t think that’s true anymore, it is. You always will, because at one point, he wasn’t the person he is now. You love THAT him. Not this him. But you took the proper steps, love. You did it! You left it all behind, the manipulation, the lying, and the sadness. And I am so proud of you.
How hard must that have been. And I think I understand why you couldn’t let him stay gone. Because love is love, no matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts.
But think of your love now. Compare them. Imagine your life without one of them.
Which one did you choose to leave behind?

You are beautiful. You are so divine. I love you so much. I can no more live without you than I can breathe underwater. You have endless worth and potential. You are my best friend. I know without a doubt that God brought us together on purpose, and that my entire life without you, my spirit was waiting to find you. I know those things like I know the sky is blue. And it is because of those things that I must tell you, you have to stop walking the fence. You must pick a side, and I promise you that no matter which side it is, I will be there. I will never not be there. You will never be alone again, not as long as I exist, in this world or not.

I could never accurately explain what you mean to me. It’s always more than what I say. Because of that, I would never try to lead you astray. And neither would God, because, as unbelievable as it is, He loves you even more than I do. I also know that God loves ‘I’ as well, and I promise that even if you let go, he will be taken care of.

You have to do this for you. Not for me, or your love now. Do it for you, and do it for God. Because God doesn’t want you sad, and I know that ‘I’ makes you sad. Do this because you deserve it.

And everyone reading this who isn’t my dear friend, you deserve to be treated as royalty. You deserve a love that will make you scared to wake up, because you don’t want this magical dream to end. And if you don’t have that, my advice would be to find a way to get it. You deserve butterflies, and blissfully sleepless nights, and smiles, and dreams. You deserve the world, and delivered on a golden platter, at that. You are so special, and so loved. And don’t you ever forget that.

Because I love you.
Ky

© Kylie Owens and My friends call me Ky, 2014.